Letting Go

Posted: 12/09/2009 in Positivity

As I have been studying various principles on this spiritual path, I have learned a lot about letting go of the past. I believe that as we grow up, we are somehow conditioned to let what has happened to us in the past affect how we deal with the present time, as well as how it will affect our future. For example, if we are having a “discussion” or, hell, let’s just call it an argument, with our significant other, what is usually brought up? Things that happened in the past like “Well, you did that” or “you said this.” Does it really help the matter by dredging up old feelings for something that happened months or maybe years ago? Of course not, I believe it makes things even worse, because not only is the current issue causing negative feelings, but the negative feelings tied into what happened before are stacked on top and those negative feelings get multiplied. If I happen to be having an argument with someone, I have been striving to let the past stay in the past, so as not to make matters worse.

Another example of letting go of the past is losing someone. In 2001, my father passed away. Now, I know many people have lost their fathers, but what has affected me is the circumstances involved. If he had died a different way, I would not have taken it so hard and fell into the deep depression that I did. I still deal with it today if I happen to see, hear, or smell certain things that remind me of him (in particular the smell of sawdust, because he was a carpenter), but instead of immediately being sad, I have been training my mind to think of all of the good times we had building cabinets and remodeling homes.

In 2005, I also lost my son to cerebral palsy. When this happened, I completely went downhill, closed myself off to the world and alienated my family and especially my wife. I thought, “why me?” What, it’s not enough that I have to deal with losing my father, my son has to be taken away from me too? I had never been this depressed in my life. However, I have trained my mind to think of the positive. When my son was born and they found out about his medical issues, we were told that we would be lucky if he made it to be a year old. He made it to a week after his 6th birthday because he was a fighter. Every day when I think of him, I just think of the fact that not only did he exceed the doctor’s expectations, he exceeded them six-fold, and we were blessed with him that much longer in our lives.

These are some major tragedies that I have dealt with in my past, and I have had to let go. Yes, it’s still hard to deal with at times, I’m not discounting that fact. But I’ve learned that we have to remember the past, not dwell on it, and keep the focus away from the negative thoughts and toward the positive at all times.

As always, comments are welcome.

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