Archive for the ‘Positivity’ Category

A couple months ago (ok, longer than that) I wrote a post about just saying “fuck it all” and not worrying so much about the bullshit in life regarding work, women, and wheels. Now, I will write about the irony of putting this into practice.

In that post, I pissed and moaned about work being slow and not sure if I wanted that as a career. I decided to value the fact that I even have a job and said “fuck it” to worrying about not enough work and it will get better. Well, it did. Though not an official promotion, there were some changes in my company as far as I am concerned and in a sense I got a raise and a promotion. I will just say it’s a great feeling when the owner of the company recognizes you as a valuable asset to the company.

I also whined in that post about my vehicle being broken down. It turned out to be a major fix (catalytic converter had to be replaced),  and I was able to get it fixed. So now I got my wheels back. *hella stoked*

Lastly, I bitched about feeling alone for the holidays. Well, about 2 weeks after writing that post, I met someone on a dating website. I finally found someone to spend the holidays with, and I tell you, it’s the most amazing feeling. She had already made plans to be out of town for NYE with her family, so I wasn’t able to kiss her at midnight, but it’s a great feeling when someone tells you “we will have next NYE.”  We’ve been seeing each other for almost 2 months and it’s great. She has the most amazing smile I’ve ever seen.

So yeah, I guess when it got to the point where I just said “fuck it all,” things just started falling into place.



Posted: 06/06/2010 in Karma, Negativity, Positivity

Photo: Sabino via FLickr

FML aka Fuck My Life: I wonder if that’s something I should be saying? Here’s a quick anecdote for ya…

This past week has been a rough one. My tank was running on empty due to lack of sleep, and it was a challenge to stay calm and not show any irritability to others around me, because if you’re like me, you may get a little cranky when tired. Then I had something stolen from me at work and was even able to view the security footage, so not only did I find the item stolen, I got to watch it happen 20 minutes later on film. It turns out if I would have come back to my bag 15 seconds earlier, I would have caught the perpetrator in the act. Normally I would be really pissed off,  but I surprised myself by being very calm, and not flying into a rage over it, especially because thievery is one thing that really gets my goat. But then again, maybe I was too tired to be pissed.

Seriously though, I think the reason I was calm is because I looked at it as a karma issue and learned a lesson from it. Earlier in the week, I knew I was scheduled to go into a city that is known as a very high crime area, and I had joked to a couple people saying “hey, I’m going to Oakland on Thursday, maybe I should get a gun!” I kind of think it was karma catching up with me when I vocalized a stereotype, then I had something stolen from me at that very place I joked about.

So that makes me wonder, should I be uttering the words “FML” or “Fuck my life?” That’s really a negative outlook, so based on what I learned this past week, I should be careful joking about certain things. Feeding the stereotype of Oakland being a high crime area by making a joke didn’t work out too well for me since a crime was committed against me while I was there for one day. I basically asked for it, right? I shouldn’t say “fuck my life” because that opens me up subconsciously to negative things happening or at least inviting them to happen.

If you’ve read any of my blog, you will know that I’m new to this, and would love someone to comment and tell me if I am viewing this correctly according to Buddhist principles, or hell, tell me I have it all wrong, I want to know. What I do know is that I won’t be saying “FML” anymore!

Why Am I Here?

Posted: 01/15/2010 in Positivity, Spiritual

I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately: “Why am I here?” and “What the hell is my purpose in life?” I think about all that I have experienced over the years and sometimes get depressed that I haven’t contributed anything to the world, or to other people. I have focused too much on the negative experiences to remember the positive experiences. My intention is to be someone that helps others, and I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure it out. What skills do I have? What career could I start? What is my passion and how could I use this to help others?

So I figured out that the one thing that is part of my life when other interests (or things I felt I was passionate about) have come and gone: MUSIC

Since I can remember, music has been my passion and has been part of my life. My father was a drummer and singer, my mother plays piano and sings, so I started from an early age in music. I have realized that even though I wasn’t conscious of it at the time, my passion seems to be teaching kids to play music. I used to teach guitar to a boy with autism, as well as some other kids, I have coached the Stairway to Stardom program (a music program that puts bands together and they write songs and have a battle of the bands), with two of my bands winning, so I have recently realized that that may be where I’m supposed to head on my life path – my purpose. I think I’m supposed to somehow be involved with teaching children to play music.

So now that I have an idea of what I’m supposed to do, I would encourage you to do the same. Really examine what you have done in your life that you may not have realized what you could call your passion. Think of the coincidences of situations that have happened, or people you have met, that you may not have realized are really telling you what you should be doing with your life. It may not just be a coincidence, it may be a roadmap to finding out why you are here and what the hell is your purpose in life.

Simplifying your Life

Posted: 12/21/2009 in Happiness, Positivity

A couple of months ago, I found an awesome website called Becoming Minimalist and read the posts from various people about simplifying their lives. I knew I had to move at the end of the year, which I very much despise. I decided to apply the tips and tricks I learned from the site to simplify, thus making the move much easier. Now I’m proud (sort of) to say that I will be able to fit my life into a 10 x 10 storage unit, including my motorcycle. I’m proud of that because I proved to myself that I can be happy without owning so many material possessions. However, I am NOT proud about it because I look at the amount of debt on my credit cards I have accumulated and wonder how the hell I have so much debt and almost nothing to show for it.

This process has also been an emotional experience for me. Simplifying meant going through everything I own to determine what to keep, donate, give to friends, or to throw away. As I performed this process, I found pictures and other items that held so many memories my wife and I shared together. This move has been quite a challenge, not only physically, but emotionally. The simplifying process can remind you of good memories you had buried in the back of your mind, and it can also bring back bad ones, so I would call it a growing process as well. You can reminisce about the good times, and you can also deal with negative issues that you may have suppressed.

I have taken the first steps to simplifying my life by getting rid of a lot of “things” I don’t need. The next step is going to be simplifying my finances by paying off my debt. I know I’m not telling anyone something new when I say that debt is definitely a monkey on my back, and makes my life complicated. I don’t need complicated right now, I need to start over fresh by making my life simple.

I would encourage my readers (if there are any out there) to check out Becoming Minimalist for tons of ideas to perform this process if simplifying your life is something that interests you. I know it does me because this move is going to be MUCH easier, and isn’t that what simplifying is all about?

Letting Go

Posted: 12/09/2009 in Positivity

As I have been studying various principles on this spiritual path, I have learned a lot about letting go of the past. I believe that as we grow up, we are somehow conditioned to let what has happened to us in the past affect how we deal with the present time, as well as how it will affect our future. For example, if we are having a “discussion” or, hell, let’s just call it an argument, with our significant other, what is usually brought up? Things that happened in the past like “Well, you did that” or “you said this.” Does it really help the matter by dredging up old feelings for something that happened months or maybe years ago? Of course not, I believe it makes things even worse, because not only is the current issue causing negative feelings, but the negative feelings tied into what happened before are stacked on top and those negative feelings get multiplied. If I happen to be having an argument with someone, I have been striving to let the past stay in the past, so as not to make matters worse.

Another example of letting go of the past is losing someone. In 2001, my father passed away. Now, I know many people have lost their fathers, but what has affected me is the circumstances involved. If he had died a different way, I would not have taken it so hard and fell into the deep depression that I did. I still deal with it today if I happen to see, hear, or smell certain things that remind me of him (in particular the smell of sawdust, because he was a carpenter), but instead of immediately being sad, I have been training my mind to think of all of the good times we had building cabinets and remodeling homes.

In 2005, I also lost my son to cerebral palsy. When this happened, I completely went downhill, closed myself off to the world and alienated my family and especially my wife. I thought, “why me?” What, it’s not enough that I have to deal with losing my father, my son has to be taken away from me too? I had never been this depressed in my life. However, I have trained my mind to think of the positive. When my son was born and they found out about his medical issues, we were told that we would be lucky if he made it to be a year old. He made it to a week after his 6th birthday because he was a fighter. Every day when I think of him, I just think of the fact that not only did he exceed the doctor’s expectations, he exceeded them six-fold, and we were blessed with him that much longer in our lives.

These are some major tragedies that I have dealt with in my past, and I have had to let go. Yes, it’s still hard to deal with at times, I’m not discounting that fact. But I’ve learned that we have to remember the past, not dwell on it, and keep the focus away from the negative thoughts and toward the positive at all times.

As always, comments are welcome.

Change Your View

Posted: 11/15/2009 in Positivity, Spiritual

I wrote recently about changes I am making in my outlook on life. I was laid off from my job a couple of weeks ago, and until today, I honestly had no place to live after the first of the year. Initially, I was just stunned, considering the fact that I have recently become separated from my wife. The shock of that huge change in my life is hard enough, but then I was handed my exit papers and my world just sort of crashed. My attitude was that I had lost everything: first my family and now my job and pretty soon a place to lay my head at night due to no income.

But that lasted only a short time. Thanks to the knowledge I continue to gain from the books I’ve been studying, I have been able to change my mindset, and see the good in these situations. I know that there is a better job out there for me that will make me happy, and I can help people. In fact, I have a second interview tomorrow with a company that does just that!

The old me would be constantly worried and stressed about my current situation in life, but since I have decided to change my view, I have actually been very relaxed about it. I know in my mind that it will all work out in the end and I will be happy with the outcome. I have forced myself to not be depressed about this, because if I let the depression take over (and trust me this used to be easy for me) then I would fall right back into the trap of alienating the people around me who love me and truly want to help.

Thanks to my wonderful family, things have already started looking up, so it is true that if you change your view, you can change your life. Focus on the positive that can come from a negative situation. We always hear these uplifting quotes about positive thinking, but how often do we truly put those insights into our mindset and take action?

I would like to hear from you about how changing your view of a negative situation had a positive outcome!