Archive for the ‘Practice’ Category

On Being Happy

Posted: 06/11/2012 in Buddhism, Happiness, Karma, Practice

I have no idea what to write. True story. I sat down to my laptop with the intent of writing a new blog post, but my mind is blank.

And that’s a good thing.

I’m not pecking away at the keyboard bitching about the bullshit going on in my life, complaining about finances, work stress, my son’s attitude, etc. Typically this is where I would vent about the pressures and troubles in life, and what I’m doing to get through it by applying Buddhist principles and meditation and shit.

In general, my stress level is pretty low, I’m not worrying so much about everything, and overall I’m one happy motherfucker (thanks in part to having an awesome woman that came into my life 6 months ago). However, the analytical asshole that I am, I wondered what changed, so I’m going to spit-ball a bit on this…

I think in the beginning of following this path, I used Buddhism as an escape from reality, and maybe I’m not alone in that. We get all fired up about this new thing, working toward being awakened, or enlightened, or finding nirvana, yadda yadda yadda, that we lose sight of what is the real deal and think we can meditate our problems away.

Time still passes one second at a time. Life is still happening as soon as we drag our ass off the cushion and the incense dies out, so we don’t have a choice but to deal with the challenges that arise. Realizing that everything is impermanent and applying the Eightfold Path are keys to just being happy. Basic shit, amirite?

Yeah, the bills still show up, people can be dickweeds and everyone on the road is a horrible driver but you. Keep in mind that eventually you will be able to pay that bill, you can’t control how people act, and there is nothing you can do about shitty drivers but keep calm and continue to your destination (oh man, this is the hardest one for me).

This is what I’ve tried to put into action lately: To be happy, practice BEING happy.

Now, enjoy some Deadly Light, video below. And don’t forget, life is short, meditate naked. Peace out! \m/

My New Prescription

Posted: 11/27/2011 in Mindfulness, Practice

Wow. It’s been 2 months since I posted anything on this blog. Life has been a whirlwind lately. Work went full-blast for the last 2 months, and then last week it came to a screeching halt. I knew I would be off the week of Thanksgiving, but as of right now, I don’t know when I will be scheduled next. In addition to not working, my vehicle has been broken down for the last month or so. Not working means no money to fix it, so on top of trying to pay bills, there’s that.

I’ve been disillusioned lately and the holidays always bring these feelings up. I’m 35 and don’t have what I can call an actual “career” and my job is seasonal. I like it, but it’s not what I want to do the rest of my life. These days it’s hard to even find a job, so I am thankful to have it, and work my ass off when I’m there. But I feel like I need something more; I’m not fulfilled.

The holidays always remind me of the shitty feeling of being alone. I don’t have a love interest in my life anymore, and the holidays make that a lot more apparent. It’s nice being single, but reflecting back to previous years, not having someone to share the holidays with kinda sucks.

So you know what? Fuck it all.

I’m going to do my best to just keep up with my practice. I will continue to trudge down life’s path one step at a time, being mindful with whatever I encounter, and remind myself that it’s all impermanent. A new project will start, so the work will eventually be there and more bills will get paid. Who knows, a new career opportunity may present itself and just maybe someday, a beautiful woman will come along and fill that gap in my heart.

If I wake up tomorrow, it will be a beautiful day just because I woke up.

With heavy metta…

I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.

I am Jack’s smirking revenge.

I am Jack’s raging bile duct.

I am Jack’s wasted life.

Fight Club is one of my top 5 all-time-favorite movies. If you’ve seen the movie, it goes without saying that there are many memorable quotes. I said it anyway because maybe one of the 3 people that read this blog have not seen the movie.

After watching it for the eleventeenth time a couple weeks ago, I sat down to meditate before bed. My mind was racing and I couldn’t relax, because I couldn’t stop thinking about all the stressful shit in my life.

The Buddha called this experience “monkey mind,” where thoughts run through your head like a monkey swinging through trees, not able to sit still. If you’re anything like me, you waste energy trying to tame the monkey, and that’s after you’re worn out just from trying to catch it. Next thing you know, you’ve forgotten all about the breath and frustration sets in. My nature is to beat myself up over things that don’t mean much; I sweat the small stuff. I have to learn to go easy on myself and just get back on track. Eventually I will be able to control the frustration, just shrug it off and keep going. No one said this would be easy, that’s why they call this “practice.”

I am Jack’s monkey mind.

Lucky Dad

Posted: 08/17/2011 in Practice

Today is bittersweet.

I’ve been bitching and moaning lately about how old I feel, due to my little boy starting 7th grade. It seems time passes way too quickly, because it feels like yesterday I was holding him and his brother in the palms of my hands. As I dropped him off at his first day of school, in his skinny jeans and beanie with some random logo from some random skateboard company, I couldn’t help but feel a little crotchety. However, I am very proud of this boy. He has always been very well-behaved and is well-liked by everyone he meets. He’s a peacemaker (although his little brother might argue that), and even-tempered. I’m a lucky dad.

Today also marks the 10 year anniversary of when we lost my father to cancer. He was only 48 years old. After dropping off my son at school, I stopped off at the cemetery to visit my dad. There’s not much to say other than I miss him a lot. I wish he could have been around to watch his grandson grow up. I can only hope that the pride I feel for my son, my dad felt about me. He instilled in me a very strong work ethic, and I hope he’s proud of how hard I work. I can’t help but wonder if he felt like a lucky dad.

Today is just one more lesson in impermanence. Our parents will not always be there for us, although there are times over the last 10 years I really wish my dad was around to give me advice when I needed it. Our babies will not always be babies. Before you know it, they will go from crawling around and sucking on a bottle to doing kickflips and listening to Iron Maiden.

Time passes before our eyes just as the wind carries the leaves, never stationary. Don’t get attached, enjoy the time, and cherish the memory. It’s quite a lesson.

In Heavy Metta,

\m/ Metal Buddha \m/

365 Days

Posted: 07/22/2011 in Buddhism, Inspiration, Practice, sangha, Social

A year ago today, I became part of a simple idea that has literally taken Buddhists all over the world by storm. A friend of mine from Twitter, @TheZenOutlaw, came up with an idea to send out a tweet whenever we were going to meditate. Other followers joined us in giving shout-outs. Then it blossomed into people all over the world joining together in meditation, all types of practices. I don’t have much to say other than I’m glad to be a part of something so cool.

Happy Birthday, Online Meditation Crew!

 

\m/ Meditate and Destroy! \m/

Yes, it has been awhile since I have posted on my blog. Life has been a whirlwind as of late, and even though I have had the time due to not working much, I have not had the motivation. This happens pretty frequently. There are times when I feel my only escape from the normal bullshit of life is to open a text editor and go to town. Then there are times when I feel so complacent and apathetic I don’t feel like doing shit. As far as my practice is concerned, I couldn’t even tell you the last time I sat down to meditate.

Since there have been changes to my life over the last few months, there have been a lot of questions: Will I get to work next week? How am I going to pay those bills? How do I dig out of this hole I’m in financially and emotionally?

The end of February also marks the time of year where I find myself depressed due to it being my son’s birthday and a week later the anniversary of his death. It’s been 6 years but the pain is still there. I know there is a lesson in all of this as far as practice goes but right now I’m swimming in confusion.

However, as I’m typing this, I am realizing where my practice has been. I’ve been keeping busy making improvements to my new residence; cleaning the carpets and such. My roommates and I have been working on the yard, clearing out weeds and trimming dead branches and also planning a garden. We have started the seeds, and within a couple months are hoping to enjoy the fruit (and vegetables) of our labors. It’s hard work, yet it is exciting to see the transformation. So there is my practice; out with the old and in with the new. Sweep the dust and push the dirt (as my dharma homie ZDZD says).

I’ve also been able to spend some more time with my son, which is great. My roommate/best friend/boss (now that he got promoted to DM!) recently got me into playing disc golf, and in turn we got my son into it as well, so I bought him his own set of discs for his birthday. I have found an activity that gives us a chance to not only spend time quality time together, we get to be outside, where the courses are setup in a way that it’s like being on a nature hike. That, and we got a killer deal on a ping pong table!

My apologies for the stream of consciousness, but that’s the product of my state of mind lately.

Peace,

\m/ Metal Buddha \m/